Time to admit Trump is Defective

I’m no handyman, so I’m nervous about the toilet I installed yesterday.

It was my first time ever doing a home repair project this big, this critical, and given the delicate nature of this porcelain bowl’s function, the stakes are high if I fail.  Any errors or miscalculations on my part and our noses and toe-zez will know this immediately.

Now every family flush makes me panic.

For the last day each time there’s a *whoosh* I brace myself – either my new toilet works, or my day just got complicated and toxic.  So far so good, but my family’s tiny.  I’m 6’4” and 215 lbs, however, so if there’s going to be a problem, it’s going to be ‘cause of me.  The pressure is on (literally – I’m done digesting) so it won’t be long before the final exam must take place.

Then it hit me – Donald Trump is the toilet.

He’s the questionable appliance installed by people who had no idea what they were doing but who were hoping for the best.  Now we’re all anxiously waiting around to see if this shaky fixture will explode under more pressure and cover us all with…

Well, you get the metaphor.

Ron Reagan Jr. gets it, too.  Here’s some of what he told Chris Mathews yesterday:

“Donald Trump is a deeply damaged human being. He’s a sociopathic, malignant narcissist… the Electoral College, has sort of vomited this thing up and it landed in the Oval Office…It’s a stain, it’s a big glob on the carpet there.  It needs to be removed and that means impeachment or the 25th Amendment. This man is a danger to the world.”  (Link to Video)

Wow – shocking to hear anyone use such horrible adjectives to describe a U.S. Commander In Chief.  But not really a surprise to the 60% of us Americans who currently disapprove of Trump as our leader.  (Link to Article)

Time to stop pretending he’s not damaged.

Trump is actually the cracked bowl Home Depot sold me at first.  There was a hairline chip I didn’t see until I had already ditched the old toilet and was ripping the brand new American Heritage box open.  I had no choice but to load it back into the car and exchange it for one that works.

We should have done the same last November.

We all saw the signs of a defective product and yet somehow enough voters in just the right places showed up and ‘vomited this thing up and it landed in the Oval Office.’  To the mere 35% of you who apparently still believe in this broken apparatus, do something.  He’s about to crack and blow and we’re all about to get covered in…

Well, let’s just hope it’s not nuclear.

Some Republicans are beginning to see the potential danger of an incapable leader and are beginning to speak out, like Sen. Jeff Flake of AZ did on Tuesday.  (Link to Article)  In a speech described as ‘blistering’ he announced he will not seek re-election due to a “flagrant disregard for truth or decency” and attacked a “regular and casual undermining of our democratic norms.”  It was a plea he likened to Sen. Welch’s historic question during the McCarthy hearings, “Have you no sense of decency, at long last?”

And how did the broken toilet flush that one?

“Look, he was against me before he ever knew me,”’ Trump said. “He wrote a book about me before I ever met him, before I ever knew his name…His poll numbers in Arizona are so low that he couldn’t win and I don’t blame him for leaving.”  (Link to Article)


Amazing how strong Trump’s deflection flow remains.

But even if we ‘exchange him for one who works’ using ‘impeachment or the 25th Amendment’, as Reagan Jr. suggested, we have to remember who the replacement part is.  The New Yorker did an entire magazine piece on what a President Pence might look like.  (Link to Article).  It suggests we’d basically be replacing the broken toilet with the far right’s version of a powerful bidet.


Back at my house, the final test has been taken and passed and it turns out my new toilet is going to do the job just fine.  Let’s hope our cracked and shaky Trump can do the same.

  • Mike Lukas


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